Small Step – Be Vulnerable

One of the biggest fears that people face in this world is rejection. We will go to great lengths to avoid rejection. Unfortunately, this also causes us to dim the light inside us and not share our unique gifts. In a way, this robs the world and people around us from our contribution. Only by contributing our gifts can we live our true purpose.

The solution to this is to allow ourselves to be vulnerable. How scary is that? Our society works so hard to convince us that we must be strong, that we must not show emotion, that we must present ourselves as powerful, confident, capable, and strong. Many of us are very good at this, but instead of becoming stronger when we do this, we actually become weaker.

Being vulnerable takes more courage than any display of power ever will. When one is brave enough to be vulnerable, they open up deep parts of themselves for others to see, which can lead to rejection on a very deep level. Many of us believe that deep down inside we are not enough, that we are not worthy of unconditional love and acceptance. This is usually tied to experiences from our childhood where we were criticized, made wrong, or for some abused.

Each time we experience an event that makes us feel this way as a child, we begin to build a subconscious belief that there is something wrong with us, that we are not worthy, that we have no value. As we grow up, we become less aware of these deep seated beliefs as we navigate our lives. But these beliefs linger inside of us and show up from time to time whenever we move out of our comfort zones. Being vulnerable connects us to these feelings in a very profound way, yet many of us move quickly to squelch these feeling by avoiding vulnerability as much as possible.

Instead of allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and to feel the wounds deep inside, we build walls to separate us from other people so that we can feel safe. We judge other people so that we have someone else to blame for our pain. We join groups and focus on what’s negative in the world so that we can feel a part of something bigger than ourselves. When we do this, we just move further and further away from who we truly are.

By being vulnerable we are able to reconnect to that deepest part of ourselves and acknowledge that we see that person who was hurt so long ago. We indeed open ourselves up to criticism from other people, but we also open ourselves up to compassion from others, to connection with others who are also allowing themselves to be vulnerable, which connects us on a much deeper level. When we do this, we no longer need input from the outside to validate our worth, we feel it. We remember the feeling we had as very young children when we knew we were perfect just for being our true authentic selves. The only way to get back to this place is to be vulnerable.

In this blog, my commitment to myself and to my readers is to be vulnerable. It’s scary and I know I will be judged, but I’m willing for that to happen. I’m willing to be my true, authentic self. I also know that it takes time to discover exactly who that true, authentic self is because throughout life I have tried to be the person everyone wants or expects me to be. I’ve been a great actress in my life and now have to take off those roles one by one to reveal the true person underneath. Each day I have to listen more to the inside and live from that place. Here you will see me make mistakes, you will hear my fears, and you will see my imperfections. This is the scarey process of being vulnerable, but it is also the path to becoming my true self. I invite anyone else wanting to rediscover their true self to join me on this journey.